Out of all the things that we want from any relationships (with friends, family, betterhalfs or someone else) perhaps, trust is the most susceptible belief that human has. Perhaps, it is the hardest to build but the easiest to break down. Trust is perhaps the most vital. But despite the fact that it’s something that we all want both in ourselves trusting others and others trusting us, it is one of the hardest things to be define.
According to Merriam-Webster, Trust \’trƏst\ is a belief that something is reliable, good, honest, effective, and such. One of the most important aspects of trust is to being able to place confidence in another person. Often this comes down to being able to tell someone a secret of some kind and knowing that they won’t reveal it to another soul. This is important, especially with friends, because we all have things we need to talk about but that we might not want shared with everyone. On other occasions, although not being the best thing that any of us do, it can mean telling someone else’s secret to a third person and knowing that they will not give away that you broke someone else’s confidence.
The other main aspect of trust is knowing that a person will always tell you the truth and not hide anything. This is often the biggest problem with trust with lovers, when one person will be hiding things from the other. This often leads to the suspicious person snooping around in their partner’s things, reading their text messages and emails, and even following them if they suspect that they are lying about where they are going. Often this problem is caused by another break of trust: cheating.
This happens to every person. I know lots of people have trust issues and have reasons for it. I do try to live by the “screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me” motto. But, it’s really hard to trust when you’ve been betrayed by the ones who are supposed to put you first and to take care of you.
The other thing that keeps happening to me, I could have a friend for a long time who I start to believe is true, we share things with each other, become close as ever for a long time. Best of friends, and she tells you that she will always be there for you, but all of a sudden, “here comes a new comer named Lalaine (not her real name) and she’s all fun and friendly, much more exciting than me, so much more fun, so much more in common, lots to talk about, I have so much fun with Lalaine.” So, I got left out, while she goes and spends all her time with Lalaine, and gradually forgets my existence.
So, I came to realize that she was never a true friend; she was just keeping me until something better came along. The minute someone more interesting appears, I am dropped, and this is by someone who I thought was a real friend. Real friends don’t do that. I am not upset that she lied to me; I am upset that from now on I can’t believe her anymore.
Just like in the story “Small Key” by Paz Latorena, Pedro broke the trust of Soledad by not being loyal to her wife, still, he loves his late wife. But the fact that Pedro told Soledad that it was over between him and his late wife, and he love Soledad wholeheartedly, still, Soledad doubt and suspects about this feeling of Pedro. After the incident, trust between the two can no longer be healed, that the incident will remain like a silhouette in their lives.
But if we are talking about friends who you thought really are your friends, then you have been betrayed by every single one of them, in many different ways that are too much to list. After a long time of this pattern, you learn your lesson and develop skills, lessons that protect you from getting hurt again, simply by not trusting anyone, ever again. I can no longer give my trust to any person that easy, for me, it takes years and years to do that. Now, I can’t help but to eventually decide that true friends were really hard to find.
Feelings and actions obviously play a large role in trust. It is a feeling, an emotion, in the simplest form. If a person decided to break off a relationship with another in order to be in a more socially popular crowd, trust will more than likely be broken. As a result, pain comes along. And it is more than pain that surfaces too. In the event that trust is lost, one may experience confusion, disorientation, and extreme sadness or anger. One may see a friend that turned to be an enemy over the course of the day, and be left in the dark without knowing what really happened. They would be confused, wondering what caused such thing to happen.